Not Really a Christian?

Man: Ma'am. Ma'am? Excuse me, Ma'am. Is that your child, over there in the blue t-shirt?

Woman: Why do you want to know?

Man: Well, he's being rather difficult. He pushed a girl off the swing and took it from her, he's throwing sticks at the children going down the slide, and he's not respecting any of the adults who are trying to correct his behavior.

Woman: Well, then he's not my child. In our home, we teach our children to share with other children and to respect their elders.

Man: Uh-huh. ............ Well, the other parents I asked said that he was your son. So if you're the one responsible for him, would you please exercise that responsibility now?

Woman: I'll admit that he somewhat resembles my son -- may even have the same name, birth-date, social security number, and all that. But if he's behaving that way, then he's not really my son.

Man: Well, then who's going to discipline him?

Woman: Oh, I think God will sort it all out in the end.

Man: But didn't God give you that job?

******************************************

Narrator: The woman's name? Well, her initials are M.E.C. I think it stands for "modern evangelical church."

Poems That Don't Rhyme

Do you ever get frustrated with poems that don't rhyme where you want them to? Here's a litmus test for ya:

Spider, spider, on the wall,
Don't you have any sense at all?
Don't you know that wall's just been plastered? --
Get off of there, you dirty little spider!

Or how 'bout this song ...

Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S;
Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S.
You can strike 'em on wood, you can strike 'em on glass;
Once I even knew a girl who could strike 'em on her shoe.
Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S.

Doggies, doggies, D-O-G-G-I-E-S;
Doggies, doggies, D-O-G-G-I-E-S.
Two little doggies were lyin' in a ditch;
The one was a male, and the other was a female.
Doggies, doggies, D-O-G-G-I-E-S.

Don't Hug a Tree-Hugger

Save a Tree -- Don't Wipe!


(Sponsored by P.E.T.A. - People Eating Tasty Animals)