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Monday, September 07, 2009

Was Peter Piper a Thief?

Likely, they grinned, coolly yet leeringly, as they first rehearsed it for you:
...........“Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.”

– It sounds so innocent, doesn’t it? Almost fun! – But have you ever considered: Perhaps Peter Piper picked that peck of pickled peppers from someone else’s pickled pepper patch? Was Peter Piper a thief?

Now I certainly don’t wish to start rumors that threaten another’s honorable reputation; but neither do I wish to pass on to my children the baton of desensitization toward the eighth commandment. If Peter Piper was a thief, my children need to know the truth.

My suspicions are not entirely indefensible. Children often pick up the habits of their parents, right? And sometimes they even take them to the next level, yes?

Well, we’ve heard it said that
...........“Tom, Tom, the piper’s son,
.............Stole a pig and away he run ….”
But is that really where the apostrophe belongs? Is Tom-Tom the piper’s son? Or is he the Pipers’ son (as in the son of Mr. & Mrs. Peter Piper)?

Now we know that Tom-Tom was a thief; the rhyme specifically tells us so. And he stole a pig, which is a rather large item. We know that. So adding the argument that children can take their parents’ bad habits to the next level, we begin to see that maybe, just maybe Tom-Tom’s dad – Mr. Peter Piper? – was also a thief. Perhaps he did not steal large items, like pigs. Perhaps he only stole small items, … like pickled peppers.

******** (At this point, you should just quit reading and scratch yer head ….) *******
.........
Perhaps we should petition Congress to allocate a little stimulus money toward an investigation of this matter. Heaven knows that it’s been used for less worthy causes.

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